Happy Birthday CT! (A brief history and some attempted wit)

Dear CT on your 21st birthday,

I met you for the first time many years ago when you won a competition in school and I was tasked with giving you your prize (a box of Celebrations), but we met properly when Aiden kind of convinced me to tag along to choir when we first started college. We formed a kind of awkward little group - the two of us, Aiden, Jasmine and occasionally Emma - then there was an open evening (and our first performance, argh!) and we bonded while sitting in the empty common room singing pretty much every single Tim Minchin song that existed at the time... and then we embarrassed ourselves laughing at 'anywahere' in the middle of our first choir performance.

Then, for reasons I can't quite remember, you ended up helping out with our Children in Need fundraising activities. By this point, you had deemed us both 'CT' and you stuck up a sign saying that CT "is fabulous" and made me sit by it. This was also our first photo together, woo!

That Christmas, incidentally, you drew the best Christmas card EVER and I now have a fabulous drawing of Tim Minchin wearing antlers stashed away to keep forever. I'm sure my efforts were nowhere near as... efforty? 

At some point round this time, you also gave me a spare ticket to Daniel Sloss (& Kai Humphries) and our comedy adventures kicked off with a rap battle, far too much hummus and some excellent hugs. There was also the senior citizens' common room Christmas party where we ran around in Santa hats, sung along to an out-of-tune piano and did an excellent job of losing an elderly woman at the end of the day. 

(NB: For some reason, you wore my fancy Santa hat that afternoon and I wore a crappy one that college handed out, aren't I a kind CT?)


So then we had the genius idea to go busking for Red Nose Day, 'cause for some reason we clearly had a ton of confidence around that particular time. We had two rehearsals (one at yours where I met basically your whole extended family, and one at mine where you didn't) then rocked up at college in weird-ass fancy dress and entertained the disinterested masses of Castleford for a day. 

And then you left college (booooo!) and I had a crappy year while you had fun at university, but we still met up for comedy gigs (Jon Richardson springs to mind).

Then I went to uni myself and we continued to meet up for comedy gigs (Josh Widdicombe & Suzi Ruffell x2, Sloss-Humphries again and Mark Watson)...

So, where are we now? Well, we're currently plotting an excellent science/laserquesting adventure with Eliza, spending lots of time tweeting and being witty, being in love with Lee Pace's lovely face and having arting days. We also had an interesting evening cooking with my dad. That was awkward. Sorry about that. You made a fabulous salad though.

CT, if I didn't have you, life would be incredibly dull. I'd certainly have a lot more hummus, nonions and homemade jam, but really, who needs it? Having said that, if I didn't have you, there might actually be a kangaroo. Who knows? Despite appearances, you like a good Dr Dre beat and will always beat me at rap battles... especially if they're occurin' outside our favourite door. That oh-so-controversial favourite door. Ahem. For your 21st, I would very much like to take you to meet Shovel from M People and follow it up with a trip to the theatre for the poor. We'll obviously have to stay overnight in a hotel but that's cool because BREAKFAST BUFFET! Although we'd better watch out because a gay man might try and bang us at Paddington. Wouldn't that be a birthday to remember! Oh, but maybe if we both double denim-ed it up, we might not be so attractive to him after all. And if we go along and dribble peaches then we'll be fine. Right, that's a plan. We'll have to do all of that after our epic geek's day out, though. And at the end of it all, we can celebrate your new-found grown-up-ness by sitting and drinking white wine in the sun. 

Seriously, though, I have never met someone quite like you, CT. You have always been nothing but nice since the day we met (whichever that was, pick one if you like) and I am so thankful that I nervously tagged along to choir that day. Because of you, I have met so many of my favourite comedians had unforgettable experiences. I love everything about your quirky personality - everything from your nerdiness to the strange faces you pull (remember that photo from Children in Need? It still makes me howl with laughter) to the fact that you are yourself through and through. You are one of the most supportive, enthusiastic, encouraging people I know and you are perhaps the only person who listens to my mental ideas and thinks they're great. 

Thank you for simply being you.

I hope you have a wonderful day and I will see you soon for adventuring and gifts!

Lots of love and macaroons,

CT xoxo

Where I Am

It's probably been somewhere around a year and a half since I sat in the waiting room at our village surgery with my mum, back when my head was fully immersed in a world that scared the hell out of me that I didn't stand a chance of understanding alone. I wouldn't have been there had my brand new university personal tutor gently suggested it when I found the courage to tell her I was struggling. I've learnt a lot about many things since I was sitting anxiously waiting to see an unfamiliar doctor and make vague attempts to articulate the inner workings of my mind. The truth is, I'm still not sure quite how it happened, but the point is that it did and I left the surgery that day with a fresh prescription, a few niggling worries but mainly an enormous sense of relief. 

You see, my two years at college really took their toll on my mental health. It's unfortunate, but it's a fact. By the time I was halfway through my first semester of university, the extreme mental fatigue of those two years finally caught up with me. The friendship group I'd started college with had drifted apart and nobody could really have explained why and the friends I'd made at college were moving away to start exciting new adventures in other parts of the country. 

In my head, I was one gigantic problem on legs. I was miserable, I had no self-confidence, my studies during that time are best left forgotten, I put on weight and I forced myself to try and somehow present all of that to new people in a positive way. I quickly decided that being honest was probably the best way forward. I was tired of pretending things were different than they felt inside my mind. 

I managed a semester of my degree before deciding to switch courses and go from joint to single honours. I just couldn't do it, and I've learnt to be okay with that. I made three wonderful friends - Jack, Isabella, and the ever-witty-texter James - in that semester whose support was immeasurable and though I only see them every few months now, they are all important people in my life. They all head off for a year abroad later this year and I'm excited to see them go on such an incredible journey but sorry to see them go.

While I was considering switching my course, I was fast making friends with a couple of students in one of my elective classes who also happened to be on my core degree programme. We had our elective class immediately followed by a core lecture one day per week, so we would pretty much spend all afternoon together. When I started my new degree programme, one of these people - Brigitte - was in all but one of my classes and introduced me to another person on our programme, Jess. We seem to have formed a nice little group since then. Brigitte and Jess are two of the least judgemental individuals I know and have helped me to find a way of speaking about what's on my mind. Together, we attended my first ever university social recently. For me, that was a huge step.

I still see some of my college and school friends - Sophie, Billie, Eliza and Zoe - sometimes. Some more than others because, let's face it, everybody is unbelievably busy. I also see my 'CT', Poppy, on occasion and we tweet most days. Nobody makes me laugh quite like Poppy and the foundations of our relationship lie in stand-up comedy, bad singing and positivity. Everybody needs a Poppy and that's just how the world should be. She makes me smile and encourages every little ridiculous idea that pops into my head. 

I now go to exercise classes every week - most weeks at least twice, and recently thrice - with my eldest cousin, Amy, and I'm in a bit of a rut at the moment but this is the first time since Christmas when I've felt less than enthusiastic about it. I'd call that an achievement. Purely unintentionally, I've gone back down to my pre-depression dress size and done one of the things I never imagined I would: I bought gym membership. We've reached an age where the age gap between us has evened out now and it's nice to spend so much time together with as close to a sister as I will ever get. 

This year has been easier, academically. I've still had my moments and I don't plan on coming off my medication until my degree has finished but I'm getting there. I've found my strengths and weaknesses and I'm learning how to make them fit around the challenges my mind presents. 

Overall, I'm happy and healthier than I remember being in the last few years. I'm finding confidence in the smallest of places but learning to embrace it. I'm surrounded by people who make my heart happy and support me. I can only hope to do the same in return. I've set myself a goal for my 21st birthday which, in all honesty, has been in the back of my mind since I was probably about 15 now. I've never had the confidence to believe it could happen until now, and knowing that people I love are excited about it for me is a beautiful thing to think about. 

As John Mayer once sang, "I'm in repair. I'm not together, but I'm getting there."

Love always,

Rx
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OPI 'Gaining Mole-Mentum'

As usual I was fabulously late to the party when it came to OPI's latest Muppets collection, Muppets Most Wanted, but while on a rare trip to the Trafford Centre I popped into John Lewis and my eyes were instantly drawn to this little gem.

Gaining Mole-Mentum is a mixed metal and rose glitter polish suspended in a clear base. The glitter type itself is most commonly described as 'shredded' and as such is a welcome change from the usual circular, hexagonal or square glitters that most polish people make..

Below, you can see the polish firstly in natural daylight, then in artificial light both with and without flash.

I tried this polish over both a light greige kind of colour and then over plain black and was pleased with the versatility of the colours. Unlike the majority of glitter polishes, which tend to be very much suited to the festive period, this is a polish that can carry through every season effortlessly if paired with the right base colour.

My only grumble about this gorgeous glitter would be that due to the jagged shapes of glitter, the occasional piece will stick up and stubbornly refuse to stay flat to the nail. This can somewhat be sorted by applying a topcoat but the best option is to apply the polish slowly and remove any pieces that don't sit flat...

...Which leads me nicely onto application. The wonderful thing about this glitter is that you really do have the option of applying it sparingly or covering the whole nail if you choose to (though always make sure to use a strong base coat!) In my swatch I applied one thick coat but you can very easily apply one thin coat if you like. Unlike some glitters, the consistency of the clear base is thin enough for the polish to remain fluid and for the glitter not to merely cling to the brush and stay there for the rest of eternity (American Apparel, I'm looking at you here!)

Of course, OPI doesn't come cheap and a polish like Gaining Mole-Mentum will set you back somewhere around the £12 mark, so this is very much a 'treat yourself' kind of product but it's ever so worth it.  So go on, treat yourself ;)

Have you tried anything from Muppets Most Wanted?

R x

FOTD: Josh Widdicombe Live

So, people of the blog world, it's been a while. I've mainly spent the past (however many) months being either a student and ill. My poor little blog was neglected and I attempted to start again on Wordpress but alas, it just wasn't the same. So now we're back with a new name and a slightly new look and I hope some of you might still be lurking in the shadows.

Yesterday my friends and I took a trip to see the comedian Josh Widdicombe live at Leeds City Varieties Music Hall and I thought I'd share my FOTD...

(For anyone wondering, the dress is from Tu at Sainsbury's... of all places!)

Base: 

YSL Le Teint Touche Eclait in 'BD40'

Collection Lasting Perfection Concealer in 'Light'

YSL Touche Eclait (lightest shade)

MAC Studio Careblend Pressed in 'Light'

Cheeks:

MAC 'Omega' applied as a contour

Illamasqua Cream Blush in 'Rude'

Eyes:

Sleek Brow Kit in 'Light'

Benefit 'Call My Buff' eyeshadow

Benefit 'Gilt-y Pleasure' eyeshadow

Urban Decay 'Flash' eyeshadow used as eyeliner

Benefit 'They're Real' mascara

Lips:

NYX Lip Pencil in 'Rose'

With the exception of Urban Decay 'Flash' and NYX 'Rose', all of these products are my go-to everyday favourites and all come highly recommended. 

Here's to many more blog posts in the near future and I hope you've all been well while I've been away. Thanks as always for reading,

R x

European Beauty Haul Part 1 - Essence, P2, Catrice, Make Up Factory & Astor

Long time, no...write? I was in Germany and France for a while with my family, dealing with the loss of a much loved pet and am now experiencing camera issues, so it's no surprise that SSD has suffered a little as a result. Luckily for all you beauty lovers, I was thoughtful enough to take some basic photos of my first purchases while still in Germany so while I'm sorting my camera out, I thought I'd share part one of my European beauty haul with you all.

1. I found these two in a shop called Douglas (how German does that sound...not!) which was basically a beauty shop. I picked up Isadora's 'Creme de la Creme' after reading and conversing about it ages ago on a blog so when I spotted the Isadora stand I hunted it down. I also picked up BeYu's Shimmering Top Coat in '743'. I love this because the glitter is holographic (my favourite type of glitter polish) but the chunks are square instead of circular or hexagon shaped. 

2. Here we have Essence's 'Mrs and Mr Glitter', 'The Boy Next Door' and 'That's What I Mint'. I absolutely LOVE Mrs and Mr Glitter. Just before going away I had seen photos of mermaid-esque nails on Instagram and when I saw this top coat I had visions of creating my own. The Boy Next Door is a nice, shimmery, vibrant blue and to say these polishes are all so cheap, I was impressed with the wear of them.

3. I purchased the P2 Pure Color lipstick in the shade 'Kärtner strasse', which is an everyday dark nude shade and perfect for people like myself who have slightly darker lips than average. I also picked up the Astor Color Last VIP lipstick in the shade Bubbly, which is a gorgeous vibrant pink shade and was probably my most worn holiday colour in the end. I also picked up this P2 profi concealer palette because concealer palettes have always intrigued me but are rare here in the UK. I have only used the green and pinky-purple concealers but so far I've been fairly impressed with their coverage and staying power. The Catrice 'Absolute Nude' eyeshadow palette interested me because there are so many UD Naked dupes out there and I'm a sucker for nude eyeshadow. I purchased all of these things (plus the Essence polishes and the P2 polishes below) from DM. Finally for make-up, I picked up the Make Up Factory Automatic Eyeliner in '24' from Müller (that shop is insane) and fell in love with it instantly. I also went back and picked up shade 21, but that will be in part 2.

4. Given that drugstore products were SO much cheaper in Germany than they would ever be here in the UK, and also given that my holiday money was pretty much entirely for feeding my beauty addiction, I went a little bit crazy polish-wise. I picked up two of the P2 Rich Color + Care polishes in 'So Fresh' (green) and 'So Cool' (blue), as well as one of the Color Victim polishes in the shade 'Artful' (PERFECT with Essence's 'Mrs and Mr Glitter') and one of the Last Forever polishes in the shade 'Lovely Moment'. 

5. P2 also had a huge range of nail care type products so I picked up their Anti-Split coat, two of their Quick Dry Sprays (there were only two left, and they were so cheap...) and their Nail Food Ananas. 

I'll be writing up proper reviews of the products I've actually tried soon but do let me know if there are any you'd like me to review. Have you tried any of these products? Let me know in the comments below because I've missed you!

Thanks for reading,

Rachel xo

Twitter: rachelizabethxo

Personal blog: rachel writes

Instagram: iRachey

Email: rachel.soshedances@gmail.com
Tumblr: lookintothestorm.tumblr.com
YouTube: soshedancesxo

Hidden Gems

Hi guys :) So, in the midst of this crazy British heatwave recently I haven't really been posting at all. My poor little blog has been seriously neglected and so has my make-up bag. I can't be the only one who cringes at the thought of a full face of make-up in such heat, can I? 

My mum and I had a wander around our local Asda on Monday and I picked up a couple of bargains that I thought I'd share...

I love having a mooch about the jewellery and cosmetics sections of supermarkets. I often find a nice necklace in Asda and it's not a secret that I'm a fan of their £1.75 own brand nail polishes.

This trio of ethnic-themed adjustable (so suitable for all finger sizes, hurrah!) cost either £4 or £5. I love finding rings like these to add to my collection and throw on with a simple outfit. Rings are definitely my jewellery weakness. I spotted these and just had to have them. £5 (maximum) for three rings is a decent price and I'm looking forward to wearing these.

I've been hunting for a necklace like this for SO long but nowhere seems to sell them. I spotted this and picked it up straight away. I love everything about it, but mainly I love the fact that it looks a bit like bunting. I have issues, OK? ;) This necklace set me back £5 and made my inner material girl very happy indeed.

Finally, I picked up two polishes. The first, a golden, metallic toned colour is called 'Beach Bum' and could be described as 'metallic sand'. I've already worn this and while the colour is gorgeous, the fact that it's metallic leaves it rather prone to streaking. I also picked up another Matt Finisher, which is just a plain matte topcoat. I very rarely do matte nails, so for only £1.75 it makes sense to pick up a cheaper polish than a more expensive one. If you're a student or just on a budget, I definitely recommend you check out the George range of polishes (but NOT other cosmetics).

Have you found any hidden gems recently? Feel free to share below in the comments :)

Thanks for reading,

Rachel xo

Twitter: rachelizabethxo

Personal blog: a single doubt

Instagram: iRachey

Email: rachel.soshedances@gmail.com
Tumblr: lookintothestorm.tumblr.com
YouTube: soshedancesxo

Summer Tribal OOTD

Skin: Vichy Dermablend Concealer/Foundation in the shade Opal

Sleek Face Form Kit bronzer

Eyes: MAC Omega eyeshadow

Urban Decay 24/7 liquid liner in Perversion

Benefit They're Real mascara

Brows: & Other Stories Worcester Taupe eyebrow pencil

Gosh brow gel

Lips: & Other Stories Melton Sunset lipstick

Top: Warehouse (at Debenhams)

Skirt: Primark

Belt: Zara (from a dress)

Necklace: Bijou Brigitte

Sandals: Primark

Nails: Essie Licorice

Rings: Topshop

Hope you're all enjoying the summer sun!

Thanks for reading,

Rachel xo

Twitter: rachelizabethxo

Personal blog: estoy mejor sin ti

Instagram: iRachey

Email: rachel.soshedances@gmail.com
Tumblr: lookintothestorm.tumblr.com
YouTube: soshedancesxo